alexjabber

I haven't posted on this place since July of LAST YEAR!! Ahem... That being said I decided I'd head back for a little simple blog posting here in the LJ universe. Also because I realized that there are several friends I have that don't have The Facebook soooo... I guess I won't catch you guys up too much. There's not much to tell.

The first three months of this year have gone remarkably well. I'm hoping that its a trend cuz frankly I'm pretty tired of having craptastic years. Last year wasn't so bad, but I'd like to keep moving the positivitiy of the last three months up thru the rest of the year then up thru, oh I don't know, the rest of my natural life how about that?  I started on this positivity kick around January and have noticed a marked change in my disposition and my environment. Its true what they say that what you put out there is returned to you. So if you're putting nothing but crap out there... yeah.

In this journey of self discovery and change (because change and evolution are necessary to continue to grow and learn) I've found that I really am quite abusive to myself. Recognizing this is a huge step in correcting the mistakes and self inflicted negative things that I do to myself to just keep myself... Punished? I'm not sure if that's the right term but close enough.  In the grand scheme of things I have to make sure to take care of myself, to make sure that I'm happy and healthy and that way I can take care of those whom I love and care for and make their lives better and so the cycle goes. In short over the last few weeks I've made amends and said good bye to most of my contempt for people. I do forgive, I won't forget, but I will not hold anything against anyone. It's a clean slate, that's the best way to be. Clear. My want most in life at this juncture is to have a peaceful mind and a peaceful heart. Most of you who see anything of my stuff on FB know that that's what I want most. For those unfamiliar the saying is, "What do you want?" "A peaceful mind and a peaceful heart." "What do you need?" "A bigger gun." I respect that because in the end we may all need that bigger gun, we just don't want it to be what we want necessarily. I've spent years thinking what I wanted was the bigger gun... but no, it's to be able to go thru life without having to fight all the time only when I need to.

Work is going well. I really love my job. My boss is a great man, an example of what a good boss should be and I find myself challenged and growing as a professional day by day. My boss lets me be free, and trusts in me that no matter what it might be I'll find a way to make it happen. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to actually be at this place and have the ability to grow my skills daily as well as have a few good laughs and not life in fear of losing my job.

In my personal life, the Creeps are growing by leaps and bounds. Matt's 10 and minus some tonsils and adenoids now. He's recuperating well, not too much drama there. He'll be finished with 4th grade May 29th! Izzy is dancing, dancing, dancing, she's currently taking tap and ballet and loves to get down when the music is playing. She even schooled one of the new Commedia boys on how to dance right, which was so funny we all had a good laugh, specially when she dropped into the splits effortlessly! Daaaaaaamn! Heh... She'll be wrapping up her stint in 2nd grade on the 29th as well, and turning 8 this year! 8!! I can hardly believe how big they are and what good kids they are also. I've also started dating Marc, we're official and very happy, stupid happy actually. Its nice to have a person who just gets you, lets you be, doesn't want to change you or wonder why you're SUCH a dork sometimes. He's a good guy, he's good with the Creeps. Those two think he's the best thing since sliced bread! The only bummer is the distance as he's in Fullerton and I'm in Hesperia still; but, we make it work. I'm a lucky girl =D

And speaking of distance... I plan to move back to the LA area come September. The desert is cheap and its nice to have my kids a stone throw's away but srsly, I can't take it up there!! I'm not cut out for small town life. The next two months are faire bound and I can't wait! I'm out there jestering solo this year but never alone! My sisters will be with me in the streets and at the ale stands ;-)  We have several fun gigs we're working on for this years show and we'll all be sporting new gear. I'm in the middle of costuming now. We should be ready for costume approval come Saturday! YAY!! Once the madness of sewing is finished then I'll get back to my training with a new mentality and goal. Unfortunately the event I was going to participate in on opening day I have to skip as my contract with REP won't allow for the time. But it's cool they have another one in October up in Nor Cal... So, gives me an excuse to visit.  All in all I see the next few months starting to shape themselves into one unforgettable year! I'm glad that my sisters are along for the ride. I feel surrounded by a ton of love from everywhere and in the end what else does anyone want but to feel comforted in your own existence with your loved ones. This year is dedicated to peace, love, tenderness, understanding, and growth. I plan to wander this year, travel to see friends, laugh a lot and move forward always forward. 

Thank you to my friends who have stuck by me thru thick and thin, you guys mean so much to me and I hope you know that. For now I leave you and say this last bit of wisdom for you to chew over... finding the beauty in your average day is what makes life worth living. "Normal Day, don't let me pass you by, in search of a rare and perfect tomorrow, which may never come..." yeah.

My dad used to tell me his made up stories then send me on my way to school when I was a kid...  He denies it now, with that same wicked, "innocent" grin I get now and then when I'm up to no good.

Example:

When I was 8 years old he was watching a documentary on the Vietnam War.  I happen to catch one of the segments talking about why there were so many Gi's from both sides that were never recovered; but that the number of missing soldiers was greater for the Vietnamese.  I asked him why and this was his answer:

"Think about it Mija, what do American's eat?  Food with lots of preservatives.  So when they die american soldiers stayed more whole and were easier to find.  The Vietnamese have a diet of natural food, like fish and vegetables, so they dicompose faster and were harder to find since the body's just disappeared eventually."

I totally bought it...

So much so that at 15 in my American History class I repeated the same story out loud in class thinking I was super smart... only to be told that this was not a natural possiblity and I should sit down... 

Yep, my dad is such a freakin' clown.  If any of you have met my parents you know what I'm talking about =)